Bathing Strike Strategies

Welcome to the April 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Kids and Personal Care
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles relating to their children's personal care choices.

Sometimes babies and toddlers decide to go on a bathing strike. If they’re pre-verbal, it can be hard to know what the trigger is-maybe stress from upheaval in other areas of life like a move, maybe the bath water was too hot or too cold last time, or maybe you’re in a new place and the bathtub looks and feels different. Whatever the cause, it can be frustrating to mom and dad, who still want their kiddo to look and smell cared for. Our son who is almost 3 has had several short phases where he refused to take a bath in the bathtub by himself, and here are some of the strategies we’ve tried:

Bathe with him

Sometimes a child going through a period of anxiety towards the bath will relax if he sees his mama or daddy bathing with him calmly. If you don’t want to do this nude for whatever reason, feel free to wear your swimsuit or undies. Your baby won’t care what you are wearing, or if your swimsuit doesn’t fit because you bought it before you were pregnant with them, or if you have awkward tan lines-they just want the security of having you right there with them.

Bathe him in a “pool”

This has been one of the best solutions for our son when he’s going through an anti-bath phase. Basically, we bathed him in his kiddy pool. We used regular old water plus a little baby soap (and some clear water ready for rinsing) and didn’t make a big deal of it. This worked best for us outside with swimsuits and swim toys, but we’ve also done it in the bathroom with towels on the floor to prevent slippage. But the word “pool” is in quotation marks because I use it loosely-we also used a big plastic storage tub at one point when he was unwilling to bathe in a new bathtub, both inside and outside the house. Basically, the novelty and the word pool are the important things here, because your kid will think of it as something different than the word “bath” that they’ve applied the negative connotation to.

Shower with him

This never worked with our son, but I have heard of other people (who I trust 100% were remembering accurately) having great success. One strategy is for Dad to take a shower, and in the middle, have Mom hand him the baby. He cleans the baby off quickly then hands him back. Some toddlers might be willing to stand on their own feet as long as they are out of the main spray. Our son clung to his dad in fear until he was close enough to me to reach for me instead. I think it made his bathing fear worse instead of better. But it was at least worth trying in my opinion.

Toys, Books, and Bubbles

Sometimes new toys, bath books, or even a new bubble bath can entice an otherwise bath-hostile baby or toddler into trying a bath. Be careful about bringing non bath toys in though, even ones that seem waterproof. We’ve discovered water still in Little People and plastic dinosaurs weeks after they went in the bath. It might still be worth it to overcome a bathing strike, but use toys designed specifically for the bath first when practical to do so.

Sponge baths

If you’re visiting relatives (or on a vacation with just your family) and your little one is unwilling to bathe in a strange place, sometimes the gentlest option is to basically just let them go without. But that doesn’t mean you have to leave them muddy and stinky. Just wipe them down with washcloths, and maybe even do different parts of their body different times throughout the day to be sneaky…and less stressful for them. The good news is, babies don’t get smelly nearly as fast as adults, and don’t really need to be washed as often to be socially acceptable. Sometimes giving them a break is the most gentle way to help them get past their dislike of the bath.

 Combine strategies

Mom playing in the pool with a new toy might be totally irresistible even if one trick alone would’ve failed to inspire a desire to bathe in your little one. Or maybe you just can’t figure out a way to wash hair without screams, so you do that separately or not as frequently. Anyway, these strategies can be mixed and matched to fit your family. Just trust your instincts on what your kid needs now!

So if your baby or toddler goes on a bathing strike, don’t despair. Pull a page or two out of my playbook, based on what you think will work best for your family, and try a few different things. And don’t stress-your kid will be clean again before you know it!

How does your family make bathtime fun?

 PS: I have a son, so I refer to babies/toddlers as male in general in these suggestions, but of course they would all be just as applicable to girls. I’m just not lucky enough to have any yet!

PPS: I am not a psychologist and am not attempting to offer advice here for children who have actual fears of water etc and may need professional help. These are just tips for kids who go through occasional anti-bath phases. Seek out a doctor or counselor you trust if your child experiences a fear of water for an extended period of time.

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon April 10 with all the carnival links.)

• Rub-a-Dub Co-Bathing in Our Tub — Bath time is more than soap and water! That Mama Gretchen shares how co-bathing with her toddler has opened up a world of cleanliness, learning, and bonding.
• This is How We Take a Bath — Shannon at GrowingSlower shares her special formulas for babywash and a happy bath time.
• How to Gently Trim Your Toddler's Nails — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses some of the gentle suggestions she has received to help Little Man overcome his anxiety of having his nails trimmed, as well as how she copes with her need for his nails to be trimmed.
• Baby bath time and skin care — Ursula Ciller shares some simple and natural tips for bathing and skin care.
• Want Your Child To Love Getting Clean? Have Them Make Their Own Soaps, Shampoos, and Lotions! — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her secret to empowering her daughter to "get clean." Together, Jennifer and her daughter make their own body washes and lotions which makes clean up time fun!
• Encouraging Self-care Through Awareness... and Fun — Amy at Presence Parenting shares some tips on how to transform self-care from a struggle into an opportunity -- for kids and adults.
• Caring for kids' curls — Lauren at Hobo Mama tells you how to clean, condition, comb, and style ringlets and waves on little heads.
• Playing in the Rain — Jorje of Momma Jorje loves how her family has come to make a family event of showering!
• The Cleansing Power of the Football — Rachel at Lautaret Bohemiet talks about her son's favorite bath buddy.
• Coconut Oil: Nature's "Baby Magic" — Megan at The Boho Mama has only one must-have baby care item in her cupboard: Coconut Oil!
• For Sensitive Kids, Less Is More — Kadiera at Our Little Acorn finds less cleaning is better.
• Bathtime: Just Another Chance to Play! — Lyndsay at Our Feminist {Play} School discusses the many reasons bath time is important - getting clean isn't one of them.
• Hygiene? What hygiene? — Sheila at A Gift Universe confesses some of her most embarrassing hygiene secrets.
• Confused About Chemicals? — Jaye Anne at Wide Awake, Half Asleep describes how to find out where the toxic chemicals are in your house and tips on alternatives.
• Clipping Those Talons — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings describes the ways her daughter's tolerance for personal care has changed over time, especially when it comes to nail clipping.
• Sit Back, Relax and Unschool Hygiene — Instead of focusing on tactics of how to 'get' your child to focus on hygiene, Authentic Parenting explains how to help your child internalize hygienic standards.
• Help! My Tot will not let me brush her teeth! — Mudpiemama shares five positive ways to help toddlers brush teeth and sabotage the tooth fairy’s secret conspiracy.
• Self Care and the Spirited Child — Amy at Toddler In Tow shares how a balancing act between independence and connectedness helps her spirited child learn appropriate self-care.
• Hairbrushing is a Safety Issue — Dulce de leche guest posting at Natural Parents Network explains that although tangles are not a safety issue, self-confidence and body boundaries are.
• 15 Ideas to Prepare Toddlers and Preschoolers for Dental Procedures — Dionna at Code Name: Mama is sharing ideas on how to thoughtfully prepare little ones for dental visits (particularly those that require anesthesia).
• Holistic Care of your Toddler's Teeth — Erica at ChildOrganics tells a tale of her children's teeth issues and how she uses homeopathy and good nutrition to keep cavities at bay.
• Bath Time Bliss : Fuss-Free Bath Time for Toddlers — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares how she has made bath time completely fuss free for both her and her toddler.
• Homemade Natural Toothpaste — City Kids Homeschooling hosts a guest post on a homemade natural toothpaste recipe that kids will love!
• Bodily Autonomy and Personal Hygeine — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses the importance of supporting a child's bodily autonomy in the prevention of abuse.
• A Tub Full of Kiddos! — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment has kiddos who love the water, so bathtime is a favorite evening activity!
• The Trials of Tidying My Toddler — Adrienne at Mommying My Way shares the difficulties she has with getting her on-the-go son to be still enough to get clean.
• Wiped Clean — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen shares her recipe for homemade diaper wipe solution to clean those sweet little cloth diapered bottoms in her home!
• Snug in a Towel: Embracing Personal Grooming — Personal care is time consuming,especially with more than one child; but the mama at Our Muddy Boots is learning to embrace this fleeting and needful time.
• EC: All or Nothing? — Elimination Communication. Even the title sounds complicated and time consuming. It doesn't have to, if you adapt it to meet your family's needs, says Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy.
• Routine Battles — In a guest post at Anktangle, Jorje of Momma Jorje outlines a simple incentive to help inspire your little one to follow a routine.
• Redefining Beauty For My Daughter — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger relays her struggle to define her own femininity and how her preschooler unexpectedly taught her a lesson in true beauty.
• Rub-A-Dub-Dub, Three Girls In The Tub — Chrystal at Happy Mothering shares how she turns bath time into a few minutes of peace and quiet.
• Montessori-Inspired Activities for Care of Self — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has a roundup of Montessori-inspired activities for care of self and ideas for home environments that encourage independence.
• 10 Gentle Tips for Little Ones Who Hate the Bath — Kim at life-is-learning gives 10 tips to get your little one into the bath and maybe even enjoying it.
• The Boy With The Long Hair — Liam at In The Now discusses his son's grooming choices.
• Personal Care in a Montessori Home — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings shares a summary of the ways she has organized her family's home to make for easy, Montessori-inspired toddler personal care.
• Styling Kids — Kellie at Our Mindful Life is letting her kids decide what to look like.
• Clean Kids: Laundry and Bath Tips — Kimberly at Homeschooling in Nova Scotia shares tips on how to get your children helping with laundry plus recipes for laundry and liquid soap.
• How to Clean Your Children Naturally: A Tutorial — Erika at Cinco de Mommy shows you how to clean your children.
• Cleaniliness is next to... dirt — The lapse-prone eco-mom (Kenna at Million Tiny Things) sometimes forgets to bathe the kids. Except in the mud pit.