Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Natural Parenting Carnival: the Best Thing About my Labor Experience

Welcome to the June 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Embracing Your Birth Experience
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about at least one part of their birth experience that they can hold up and cherish.

“We don’t hear that too often!” my ob nurse commented, sounding surprised. I hadn’t noticed her entering the room and was telling my husband “you’re so nice” as thanks for rubbing my back for literally several hours (my labor wasn’t progressing, so we had plenty of time).

I was kind of surprised-I was just saying what popped into my head. Apparently most women at this hospital say mean things to their husbands during labor? Anyway, that’s not our style. We don’t do “mean” sense of humor stuff (you know, like birthday cards teasing each other, or April Fool’s Day jokes that make you actually panic or other things like that), and we do try to give lots of genuine compliments when they are deserved. And I say "you're so nice" a lot because my husband is super nice quite often!

And my husband was amaaaazing during my labor and delivery. And pregnancy, postpartum,and life in general, lol. He’s seriously amazing. He helped me stay strong when I thought an unmedicated labor was still possible, and made sure I knew I wasn’t a failure in his eyes when an epidural and c-section became the reality. He reminded me of how beautiful I was and how proud of me he was, and he stillreminds me that I’m beautiful and he’s proud of me.  He was definitely my rock during labor, and I’m glad I didn’t lash out at him, but instead told him how wonderful he is.

After my c-section, my husband went with our son to the nursery and made sure they didn’t give him formula or pacificers and that they brought him to me as soon as possible to nurse. He stayed up with our son while I slept because we wanted him near us as much as possible. He was just so caring and thoughtful, and it made it so much easier to deal with a labor that didn’t quite live up to my hopes.

I had a kinda rough labor. I don’t believe this is how he rolls so I don’t think it really happened this way, but it almost felt like God read my birth plan,laughed, and made everything go the opposite direction (except for eventually winding up with a  healthy baby and mama-that part was perfect!). I dreamed of an unmedicated natural childbirth. I ended up with lots pain medications-I couldn’t even feel my arms, let alone hold my baby when he came out-and a c-section. But one thing was “right” in my tumultuous birth experience: My amazing husband.

Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon June 12 with all the carnival links.)


Dionna @ Code Name: Mama said...

One of the things I was most grateful for with Ailia? My husband's hands. He did the double hip squeeze for quite a few contractions, and it felt SO good. I think it is also one of the reasons she descended to quickly and efficiently - my body was nice and ready for her :) I don't know that I said "You're so nice," but I am pretty sure I said thank you!

thesinglecrunch.com said...

How nice it must be to have such a supportive husband! I wasn't angry at anyone during either of my births, I think I was thinking too much about my own pain to inflict any on anyone else lol.

Emily said...

My husband was with me start to finish during the birth of our daughter and I can't imagine not having him there for me. I'm glad your husband was your rock too! I think it's so important for men to be involved with the birth of their children--for their children and their partners! It makes me sad when I hear women say their husband didn't want any part of it. Thank you for sharing your experiences!

Kenna Lee said...

Such a wonderful and well-written piece. I've seen women treat their husbands in all sorts of ways during labor and I think it tends to speak volumes about the depth of their relationship. You're one of the lucky ones!

Lauren @ Hobo Mama said...

I am so with you on this one! Having my husband's support meant the world to me. I also stayed nice to him through labor. I think those sitcom setups with the women swearing at their partners have to be exaggerated, right?

Andrea @ talesofgoodness said...

I can SO relate. My darling hubby was the pillar of understanding for me during both of our labors. Things never go as quite as planned, so it's so nice to have the support of someone you love and trust. I wish all moms could have this. Good post.

The Busy Mom said...

My husband was such the perfect person during my first labor. I'm literally about to do it all over again in a few days, and I know he will be just as fabulous as he was last year!

Gianna said...

My husband is amazing during labor and delivery.